Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Tweet Tweet

I’ve joined ‘Twittter’. Well, you read about it everywhere: all the bright young things ‘do it’, and the terminally-hip. I am neither of these things, but, undeterred, I signed up.
It’s easy; pop in your details, then wow the world with your first ‘tweet’. But oh, the tyranny of the blank page. What shall I write? It must be something pithy, something good. But what’s this? I have one follower?

Panic.

How can I possibly have a follower? I only signed up a minute ago. I begin to sweat at the thought of how this person knows I’m here when I haven’t a clue what I’m doing. My follower is in America, (how global, how exciting) and she asks, ‘are you fascinating?’

Utter panic.

The sweat runs cold. I consider drowning my new-born account and running for the hills. Why am I doing this anyway? My hands shake. It takes ten minutes of type-delete-type before I muster something floppy about joining twitter.
I click ‘tweet’ and my offering flutters away into cyber world. I glow with maternal pride. I wonder if my new friend will be impressed.

Thirty seconds later and the screen updates.

I now have no followers.

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