There’s this bit in the film ‘Roger Rabbit’ when Bob Hoskins is assailed by an ugly, lust-crazed cartoon woman. She chases him, screeching ‘a man, a man’, until he escapes her advances by tricking her into running into a wall. Yes, I have watched it recently. The small boys think it is funny in the way children laugh at things their parents find amusing, until they hit say, twelve, whereupon they develop more educated, refined tastes, and find things their parents laugh at lamentably sad. Or was that just me?
Anyway, the mad cartoon woman; that was me this morning, marauding around the supermarket with a gorgeous man in my sights. You see, I always play what I like to call ‘The Tesco Game’ to relieve the tedium of shopping. It’s quite simple; imagine the doors are locked and you have to choose a partner from everyone shut in the store. Livens up most shopping trips. And this morning I would have chosen the tall, lean, artfully dishevelled man whom I unintentionally, (honest) trailed around the shop.
Of course, in another world, I would have caught his eye, (I did try, but I’ve always been rubbish at that kind of thing) made some fabulously witty remark, and given him my telephone number. Back here in real life, I probably resembled our cartoon friend, hence he and I didn’t exchange even a glance. But it’s not often a trip to the supermarket brightens a Monday morning, so for that, at least, I must smile.